Is it worth it?
Questioning life, the universe, and everything
Have you ever wondered whether it’s worth it?
Is the investment you make in your friends worth it? Do you get a return on your investment? Can you rely on them in times of need? Will they still love you when you’re at your worst — angry, or poor, or ugly, or fat — or maybe dating someone from a different culture than you?
Is the car you drive worth the inconvenience of being stuck in traffic, having to stop to fill up with petrol, renewing licenses and taking it for a service every so often? Is having it adding more to your quality of life than the inconveniences and costs it brings? Does the joy — both material and emotional — outweigh the cost of having it?
Or are you just used to it and can’t imagine your life without it?
Is the money you pay in order to buy “stuff” to keep up with the Jones’ in a hope to find happiness worth it? Is it worth the fancy clothes, the newest tech, the big house with all the empty rooms? Does people really think you’re somehow worth more when you can show them the glitter that modern day society values? Do you really think people will like you more when you have more “stuff”?
Most importantly though, does it make you happy?
Is the sacrifice you make each day to earn just never enough money, doing something that just doesn’t bring you as much joy as you wish, for making someone else wealthy really worth it?
Is it worth spending the majority of your time with people you wouldn’t choose to spend it with while the people you do wish to spend time with is with the nanny or at school — away from the very thing they need most — namely parental love? Is it worth working long hours so that you can buy them a fancy toy for their birthday while in fact they like the box and sitting on your lap unwrapping it more than the toy itself? Is it worth worth sacrificing time with your loved ones?
Is it worth buying that thing on Amazon at the lowest price so that the seller makes just enough to scrape by while Jeff Bezos stopped counting his wealth years ago, unable to spend it all even if he wished.
Is it worth looking up to Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and any other power figure today when all they teach us is that it will never be enough? No matter how much you have, you obsessively need more. Like a virus consuming the very host they live on, always looking for more to fill the hole in their soul.
Is it worth believing that any thing — be it money, power, fame or anything else — will fill that hole in your soul like mainstream media proclaims to be true? Is it worth believing that when you have all the power you will get the one thing you desire above all — to be loved and accepted? How many authoritarian rulers have been loved by their people in the past? Why would you believe that this time it will be different?
Is it worth believing what the media, the government, your friends and family say you should think and believe while deep down you know it’s not in alignment with your true self? Is it worth blindly trusting people who hasn’t been through what you’ve been through, and who doesn’t know your deepest yearnings or what will make you happy? Do you really think they know what’s in your best interest when their lives are in all aspects so different to yours?
Is it worth investing in someone else’s dream because somehow you believe your dream isn’t possible?
What if it was possible? Would you still make the same choices?
Is it worth avoiding the pain of truth when by avoiding it you trap yourself inside the pain, keeping you safe from pain but also from love? Doomed to experience the same painful experience over and over and over and over again like Groundhog Day until you break down the walls. Until, finally, you’re willing to question your beliefs and find what is true to you?
Until finally, you’re willing to face your own shadows and sit with your pain like it was a little child? Not pushing it away or trying to pretend it isn’t there or valid?
Is it worth living an empty life stripped from emotion and connection in return for predictability and a perceived stability? Is it worth believing the lies you keep telling yourself just so that you don’t have to feel the discomfort of the truth?
Is it worth forcing your beliefs onto others, while refusing to hear their point of view in a hope that somehow, someday, people will see your point of view? Is it worth getting angry when someone challenges your beliefs because you’re afraid of who you’ll be if what you believed wasn’t true anymore?
What if it was true? But what if it doesn’t have to be true anymore?
What if you could choose differently?
What if you didn’t need to suffer anymore?
Is it worth pretending everything is going ok and under control when the wheels are clearly falling off the cart for everyone to see? Is it worth believing the lies that the media tells us that the economy is doing just fine when in fact a collapse is on the cards?
Is it worth believing that the government is there to serve the people when they rule in an authoritarian way, abusing the very power given to them?
Is it worth believing either presidential candidate won any election based on merit the past decade, maybe longer? Is it worth believing in the fantasy of the president who will save all their citizens while in fact all they care about is winning the next election and getting more votes? The only difference between the 2020 US presidential and other elections is that with this one the corruption was seen whereas previously is was hidden.
Is it worth believing in the promises that just never seem to come to fruition? Always with a new, valid, reason, and each time with bigger, newer promises, just to hear yet another excuse as to why it couldn’t be done next round? Always asking for more money, more resources, more time? Like the virus never satiated until there’s nothing left?
Would you, if you were the owner of a company, allow employees to always postpone delivering a project? Why do we allow that with government? Aren’t they there to serve the people? Aren’t the people the ones paying for them to be there in the first place?
Is it worth killing literally thousands of businesses to keep people safe from a virus but then letting them starve from hunger, unable to provide for their family?
Is it worth believing that this time it will be different, when it hasn’t been different in the history of humanity? Is it worth believing that if only we hold onto the broken systems a little longer and pour more money and resources into it that it will suddenly start to work better? When in reality our needs have changed so much that it doesn’t serve them in the first place. Is it really worth holding on to the past?
Is it worth postponing your happiness by avoiding the truth?
Is it worth ignoring your inner compass just to keep bumping your head on the wall while listening to someone else’s directions?
You’re worth it as you are.
You were perfectly worthy the day you were born — naked and unable to do anything for yourself — you’re even more worthy today. You don’t need the car, the house, the fancy clothes, the followers, the money, the power. All you need is to discover your unique gift to the world. That special thing that no-one else can do as good as you.
Do you believe in you?
No two people are the same. Each person born on this earth is unique and has a purpose. It’s up to you to find yours.
Go on, find you.
Listen to your heart and use your head to make it a reality. Have the courage to admit to your pain. Have the courage to feel it and little by little uncover the diamond beneath it.
You can always choose differently. Your past doesn’t define who you are to become if you don’t let it. Do you want to repeat the past mistakes? Or do you have the courage to move forward?